Confrontation

When we are new in SIA, we often say, "I'll never con­front.  "I don't want to hurt them."  "They are old now."  "Why bring it up?"  "It hap­pened a long time ago."  "I have to understand that s/he was sick and there­fore isn't responsi­ble for what he did."  "My mother­/­father is weak and cannot han­dle all this tension."  "S/He was an alcoholic.  I'm afraid if I talk about the abuse, s/he will lose his sobri­ety."  In SIA, no one is told s/he must confront her/­his abuser.  As a part of our recovery pro­cess, we may want to con­front because our needs often change as we detach and be­come more indepen­dent.