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If our partners ignore our feelings and take advantage of us sexually, emotionally or financially, we often tolerate these behaviors because that is what we are used to and expect. We have been conditioned since childhood to behaviors that violate our boundaries and abuse us. We may blame ourselves, try harder and give more in an effort to ‘earn’ the kindness and love that is really our birthright. We may mistakenly believe in our secret heart that we probably deserve abuse, or it would not keep happening to us.